Jamie.

Fairness and Fucking Bullshit.

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 20:39:21 GMT

I am so fucking pissed off right now. And this time, it's not because of my friend, or my crush, or my dad, or my brother.

Oh no, this time, it is because of my dads mom. In otherwords, my grandma. She just....... UGH.

She always comes over unannounced. I mean literally, can't she call us or something, so we can be prepaired or whatever.

She always backtalks about a family member of ours. I mean literally, they're her FAMILY for crying out loud. You don't say bad shit about your family, to more of your family. ESPECIALLY if you know one member of the family you're telling all this too, just so happens to absolutely LOVE the person you're talking about.

And then, she always expects me to be the woman of the house. She always says things like do you have any food to cook, rooms to clean. FUCK. It gets so annoying. Then, she said, WHY are YOU getting good grades.

What the fucking fuck?!

And then, I find out that she got tickets for the four men of the house, to watch OUR favorite hockey team play. She didn't even think about inviting me. Once again, stupid, fucking sexist remarks.

UGHHHh

Fuck Life.

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 01:54:27 GMT

That's right, I said FUCK LIFE. Don't you just hate it when your parents yell at you for something you just did, or when your close friend says so many mean things to you, and you know she isn't joking.

I do.

I hate it when a friend of mine laughs at the idea that I've had boyfriends before. I hate that this friend believes that no guy can like me as "more than a friend:", and last, but most importantly, I hate it how this friend tells you lies that the guy you like more than a friend is secretly making fun of you. Of course, I have no actual proof for the last point, but my instinct, and my real friends are telling me that she's probably lying, because she herself likes him. It gets so god damn fucking annoying.

I mean, all I hear is that she doesn't like him that way, but by the way she acts towards me, and always gives me self-hope, you'd think she does like him that way. And god knows how many times this friend bugs us. I mean, even the guy I like, who is one of my closests friends, is getting fucking pissed off at her because she keeps bugging me. And it's not just him. She's pissing me off just as fucking much.

Then there is the guy that I do like. He isn't ignoring me, or annoying me. Oh god no, it's just, with every little thing he does, I can't help but wonder if he likes me the same way. And that is what annoys me, because I always think to myself that no guy can ever like me because I'm too fat, or too ugly [which, if you think about it, is because of the fact that I was made fun of my whole life, which lowered my self-esteem]. Anyways, there is also the fact that, I don't want to get my heart broken into pieces all fucking over again. I have personally, been there, done that, way too many fucking times. I don't need, and personally, don't fucking want to go through that fucking hell once more.

Then there's my dad. Yeah I'll admit, he's not that bad this week, but he just gets so fucking annoying.... okay, well, truth is, he doesn't trust me worth shit, and he keeps saying that I'm a mature, young adult and blah blah blah, but god fucking damnit, if that were so fucking true, why is it he ALWAYS treats me like a fucking child.

I mean, I'm hanging out with my friends, and he tells my brother if I'm not home by so and so, to go out looking for me. Gawd, why can't he just truely understand that I need my fucking freedom.

Then there is my brother (second one). He just gets "so bored'' that he has to go and bug me. FUCK.

And here i am ranting , when I should be studying for my upcoming tests, and then working on my geography project, but nooooo.

Then.... to add it all, I keep feeling so god damn depressed.

FUCK LIFE, MOTHERFUCKER!!

Combination Disastres

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 04:44:50 GMT

Hello everyone.

Today has not been a good day for me. All in all, I've been compared to my step-siblings... again, but also by my mother, who said she would never do that....[ouch]. I had found out my crushed liked his ex. I became depressed once again and wanted to die. And I had another birthday forget dream. Nice eh?

So the boy I like. There is absolutely no process what so ever. And today, it has been annoying the fucking fuck out of me. Yes, I believe now, more than ever that he likes me... a lot, but its getting nowhere. And it's not like I expect it to get to anywhere serious.... because of his stupid ex-cheating-girlfriend, but, it just gets so aggrivating.

I mean, I told him through an offline message I liked him. He never got it.
Then i told him again through facebook. Still never got it.
Then, when he asked me about those two things, he said he doubted I liked him, and told my friend he honestly thought I did NOT like him. So he said he doubted i liked him. I said he shouldn't doubt that.

HE STILL NEVER GOT IT.!!

I mean, no offense to the guys, but how stupid can you get? I like him loads, I've done so much to try and tell him, but I'm shy. Today just isn't my day now is it?

So. come tomorrow, if I'm still not feeling... happy, who knows what I'll do... somedays. I wish he really knew how I felt.

Then there's those birthday dreams. It might be the reason I'm not really looking forward to going to the Republic... which will be in a month, by the way.

The dream is always the same. We're there, but my family forgets my birthday (1 month and 2 day). Then, the next day, or week, or whatever, they realize they forgot it. And feel bad. it ends there usually.

Then, my step-dad ALWAYS compares me to his kids. And boy, it gets fucking annoying. I mean, he's lived with me for years now, and he STILL doesn't seem to know that I am NOT his kids.

It gets annoying. But worse of all, my mom did too today.

What a great motherfucking day.

I Love Him.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 21:34:02 GMT

Ola.

Thats right. I said i loved him. If he loves me back, I have no fucking idea, and only god will tell. I mean, god knows how many time I've analyzed his every move towards me and such. Somedays, it gets annoying, others, it makes me giddy inside, and other others, i just really want to know.

I mean, god knows how many times he's played footsies with me... which I must admit, I absolutely love. There are just so many instances, and so many clues that point to me.

*Sighing here*

Yes, i love him. And one day, he'll know.

JAMIE.

Somedays....

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:41:50 GMT

Hello Hi.

So..., my dad found out about me bringing my laptop to my moms. At first, everything was awkward, but afterwards, we got over everything. But now.... now it is all okay.

For other news though.

Remember that guy? I'm still pretty confused about everything. He's telling me he likes a friend of his, and now he won't play footsies with me. At first, it striked me as sort of... heart breaking. But then I started thinking about it. Remember how in Harry Potter (oh my god, i can't believe I'm using a Hermione/Ron sign when I'm a Harry/Hermione fan... pukerama much?) Anyways, remember, she hugged Harry easily, but not Ron.... (WHY AM I USING THEM??) Well, then, in Life With Derek, the same thing happened between Derek and Casey (Derek hugged Emily easily, but wouldn't hug Casey). I started thinking, this is kind of like that. But there's no other girl he'll play footsies with... right?

Bah, I'm just so effing confused about it. Somedays, it just hurts to even look at him and her. I know they're friends and things, but he's such a big flirter and everything. I keep thinking he likes her. She likes him.

My love life is nucking futs. Why did i have to grow up fat and ugly??

Well, I'm going to go post on LWD_EPS.

Headaches Everywhere.

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:20:16 GMT

Holy Hell, Hello.

I am having the worst headache ever. I guess it all started during fourth period, science class. You see, we were using the gas fumes in science today. And I have no idea what they did, but I've had a headach since then. But if anything, the paint fumes are making things much worse. I have bad reactions to paint fumes. And the next door neighbour is painting their house.

And then there is the boy I like. My friend told him I liked him, and now I'm afraid he doesn't like me back, and things might become awkward between us. Somedays, I wish my life could just be a little less confusing, and such.

*Sighs*. I guess I'll leave for now.

Chiao.

I'll Get It, I Swear.

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 03:11:50 GMT

Bonjour Encore.

So, I believe my boy problems are getting pretty exciting. I think I'm back in the loop when it comes to him liking me. It's somewhat hard to explain, but we were talking on MSN Messenger, and I asked him if the girl he liked was online. He said yes.

Now, usually, when we ask one another if the person of our affection is online, we really mean "are you talking to them right now?". I know, it's totally wierd. But, anyways, I had asked him if he was only talking to her and he said he wasn't answering that. Now, in our little world, "I'm not answering that," means "Yes I am."

Of course, after this happened, I immediately asked my other friend to ask the guy I liked who he was talking to. His reply. Just me. He was talking to just me. Only me.

Do you know what that means?

If his crush was online, and he was ONLY talking to ME.... Oh my fcuking gosh. So, I know I shouldn't be getting my hopes up, but come on! And I'm not going to get my hopes up, well, not as much as I usually do, but... ooh, I just ... I just want to SCREAM!

So, I'm going to go to bed now, and hopefully have wonderful dreams.

JAMIE.

She will be loved.

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:09:13 GMT

Hello

I think I'm going mad. I think I just read the fact that my friend was going to tell my crush I liked him. I don't want things to be awkward though. I mean, in reality, my friends would probably be proud that I would be taking such a risks, but..... Take a breather there girl.

Okay, so I think he doesn't like me back that way. What the hell do I do?

Making It Happen.

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 22:09:47 GMT

Hello Readers.

So, today is a somewhat better day. I told the guy I like to ask one of my best friends who I liked, and he hasnt figured it out, so I told my female friend to write an email to the guy I like saying the word YOU.

I'll defintely keep you posted on what happens.

I have no homework today. Yeah me. But I had a quiz today, and have one on Friday. I also got back my huh-yuge unit tests back in french. I did great. My average is in the high nineties.

GO ME!

So... Yes, Im going to go now.

Later.

Updates on Things

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:29:58 GMT

Bonjour.

So, my community is finally up. It was actually up a couple of days ago, but I have finally just edited everything [Profile Layout and Journal Layout]. In case you've forgotten, the community is called lwd_eps . It's entries are mostly about my reviews on the episodes [starting from season three]. But it is also a Dasey community. So if you join, you can post fanfiction, graphics, websites, news, and well, loads more.

It took me hours to actually learn how to add layouts, and if you want more information on it, than you'd be best go to the actual community, as I'll no doubt tell you there.

All other updates on the community are on its page.

Now, for news on my journal. Seeing as I had figured out how to work layouts and such, this blog has new layout and profile layout. Check them all out. Credit is given in the right place.

So, on my life. Aha. Anyways, I'm still not lucky with the guy I like. I know it sucks eh? But I'm just going to go out there and have fun!

I hope you enjoy .

Little Wonders

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 00:01:40 GMT

Hello there.

So, I have a new layout, which kind of reminded me of Halloween, but it also reminds me at my failed attempt at a romance. More on that later. So, I'm not as mad at the whole Disney Channel Production thing anymore, because it seems the episode Fright Night is finally on Youtube. It was a great episode, and I'm going to putting a Life With Derek Community up to talk about all the 3rd Season Episodes... So anyways, I've calmed down, but I really wish that Family Channel would air the newer episodes every Friday... they never do unless something special is going on.

Okay, so my second thing to discuss on here, is my fanfiction. I'm sorry to say, that I have deleted my main three Harry Potter fanfictions. I just had no interest in writing them anymore. In the futer, I may re-write them, or do something for them, but for now, they're out of my life. I still don't want anyone stealing the idea's though. However, I still plan on writing all my other HP fanfictions, and I'm currently writing a fanfiction where Harry, Ron, and Hermione find Lily's diary. I know, it's horribly cliché'd, but the thing is, there is a plot, unlike other things like that. [No offense to anyone who's written those type].

I've also begun writing Life With Derek fanfiction. I really hope you enjoy it, if you have read it. I've decided my CSI fanfiction, Changes and Chances is now a short ficlet, which will soon be finished.

My third thing. Tests. I haven't been failing miserably, in fact, this year, I've gotten pretty good in school. Yeah me. But no matter how hard I study for unit tests, I just don't get to the grade average I want. How unfortunate.

And now, for my whole failed attempt at romance. It's quite a long story really, but I'll try to transport everything onto here without making things confusing. The guy I like, apparently likes somebody now... and well, I've been trying to figure out who it is. At first, I tried not to care, but I do... deeply.

Anyways, I've been asking certain questions about this girl. Apparently she has all my traits [ this is my thought, by the way.] She goes to our school, she beliefes herself to be fat, even though he thinks she's skinny.

And that was the important thing. Earlier that day, I had a huh-yuge fight with my friend, saying that I thought myself to be fat. So, from here, I was really really, happy. Like incredibilly stupidly happily. Yeah, I know, wierd eh?

But then today, he said the girl had BLONDE hair, even though yesturday he said she had BROWN hair. And he said he didn't like our friend, so now I'm just really, really, confused. It kinda hurts really.

I have no idea what to do, and even though I hardly doubt someone is reading this, I needed to get it out, with someone other than my friends from my school.

Thanks for listening, or, Reading.

-[Jamie]-.

....Can't they be good to us.

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 01:14:28 GMT

Ola.

So, I'm pretty... aggrivated at Disney and everything that has something to do with it. I loooove the show Life With Derek, and Family hasn't aired any newer episodes yet.

And Disney won't allow anyone out of the states to watch it online. Which is totally bogus, because it's a Canadian Channel and a Canadian Television Show.

Ugh.

So, I stole my laptop from my dad's house, and brought it over here. He better not notice. Or else I'll be in big shit.

Later.

Damn Fucking Jealousy..

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 04:48:32 GMT

Some days, I really hate the lovelife God sent me.

It's pretty simple really. It's just crushes. Long term crushes, that have me over them once I find a newer guy to crush on.

But this year, its different. Which makes me fucking pissed.

Because I hate having differency in things I'm used to... did that make sense?

So, you guys... whoever you are, want to know the story right?

He's a great guy. A good friend. Someone I bonded instantly with. Now, unfortunately, I'm always known to having crushes on bad boys. But this one isn't as bad as my usual list of boys. Anyways, he flirts endlessly with all the girls that flirt back.

And I'm, very unfortunately, one of the girls that flirt with him. But I'm inexperienced in the flirting buisness.

And then, there's my friend, which immediately causes big trouble. She likes him too. But instead of flirting, she just acts totally immature and it gets totally annoying. Because in her eyes, it's flirting. But its not, and its annoying everybody. Including me.

And I know it's not because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but because of stupid fucking jealousy. Grrr.

Jamie.

Ugh.

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 20:04:29 GMT

Hello Everybody.

It's been quite awhile eh? Well, highschool is great, my dad found out about my step-siblings moving in with us... yada yada ya.

And I'm sick. :-(

It's pretty funny if this wasn't in my point of view. I mean, my whole family was sick, but myself.. and I don't get sick until I leave for my dads. Bloody fking hell.

Did I ever mention how much I hate colds. I don't mind puking much, but colds are just... ugh.

I mean, you're always blowing your nose, with it being red and runny. Totally disgusting, really. Ugh, ugh, UGH!

And then you practically pack yourself with Syrup Medicine and Halls... what a drug eh?

And with me, it's shit, because I don't bother combing my hair, putting my makeup on, or dressing... properly. I mean, I usually find myself in sweats and a hoody. Even if it's during the school hours.

Just bloody great.

JAMIE.

Annoyance Much

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 17:07:03 GMT

Somedays, I just want to scream in my brother's face. Brother two, that is. He keeps bugging me to sell my guitar to him, but hell no, i'm not doing it. No, I don't play it that often, because if I do, it just reminds me of the fact that my mother isn't allowing me to go back to guitar school.

No matter how much I want to.

And then he decided to use the "I'll guess I'll have to talk to mom about it". I mean, he's totally ignored her until up about a year ago, when she took him to a theme park for his birthday. I mean, he tells her he doesn't mind our step-family, but when we get to our dads, all he can do is talk about them behind their backs. In the worst fucking way possible.

Grrr. I bloody hate him.

But it got me thinking. What if mom does sell him my guitar. But if she does, I'll do whatever I can to get it back, and yell at her. She just can't sell my baby to him.

Can't He Ever Just Listen?

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 01:53:36 GMT

So, my dad is getting really annoying lately. I mean, yeah, sure, all Dad's get annoying and stuff, but sometimes, he just gets too annoying. Do you know what I mean?

I mean, he always asks questiones, and never listens to me. I once told him, I was like "Dad, when you buy me headphones, make sure I'm there with you!"

And whenever he buys me headphones, he buys me the exact same ones. Two pairs in a set, one goes around your head, the other in your ears. So, whenever he buys me headphones, he buys those, and they're only like 3 dollars and break on the same fucking day.

I just got so annoyed, because if he had listened to me, I'd have good, 15 dollar headphones, and would be able to think of more plot outlines for my stories.

Ugh. And it's not like I can tell him. It would just break his heart, and I hate doing that to him.

Any idea's?

JAMIE.

What is new, huh?

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 20:55:32 GMT

Why hello there everyone.

So, I'm not sure if I even told you this in my last entry, but I love high school, and hate construction. Instead of fixing the roads, they're fixing the sidewalks, causing the roads to get worser. And the sidewalks dont even need fixing. It's the floody bucking roads.

Bloody hell.

Anyways, so my dad finally found out about my step-siblings moving in, and at that time, I just wanted to wring my step-brothers neck for mentioning that.

Fuck.

At least my step-sister had the decency of lying to my dad the other time. Ugh.

On my story views, I've been writing a lot of one-shots, and planning many short-stories. YAY me!

So, I smell food, which is making my stomach rumble.

Later.

Somebody Come

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 17:20:29 GMT

Hello, hello, to random people who probably don't know who I am, or aren't even reading this at all.

So, my name is Jamie, and like I said on my bio page, I'm a freshman in highschool, and totally loving the place.

I love to write stories. Mostly fan-fiction, but I have tried making my own works, which i would later abandon for Fan Fiction, anyways. I mostly write Harry Potter fanfictions, ranging from One-Shots, to novella's, to even novel sized fan-fiction. That's alot of writing eh? For Harry Potter, I am currently writing 4 novels, 3 novella's, and a couple of one-shot's and ficlets.

I love writing mostly one-shots for CSI Las Vegas, and Zoey 101. When it comes to CSI, I'll only read really really good POST-LIVING DOLL fanfictions. If it's a PLD One-Shot, it depends on if I find it interesting.

For Zoey 101, I won't read anything with Dana and Nicole in it. I like Quinn and Lola better. I NEVER write slash fan fictions, nor do I ever go near them. I don't like reading slash.

When I'm not writing, I'll either web-design, for my Harry/Hermione, Dan/Emma website, or do Sudoku. Yeah, I know, I'm a nerd.

Anyways, so I have one dad, one mom, and they're divorced. I have two brothers, and the oldest one, I get along better with than the other. My mom is living with her boyfriend, who is great! Also with him, comes two kids. One is two weeks older than me, and fucking great. The other is two years younger and she's... annoying. [the older one is the step-brother].

From now on, they're known as BROTHER 1, BROTHER 2, STEP-BRO, STEP-SIS. And, well, i'm writing, so ah-viously!

Later.